Bloody Hell

I just managed to glue my lips together. I recently installed Soft Paws over my cat's claws so that he would stop assaulting the sofa. They are these little silicon covers that super glue on over a cat's sharp little death-talons. A little while ago, my cat managed to pull one off by scratching at the bottom of the bathroom door. It must have snagged on the hard wood. So I scooped him up, took him to my room, and tried to glue on a new, fashionable, purple claw. After stretching it open and dumping some glue in, I go to put it on and he squirms. Very unlike him, but I stuffed the claw between my lips to catch and reposition him. Since you, dear reader, are more intelligent than me - or at least more forward thinking - you can probably discern what happened next. I spent 10 minutes peeling the claw off of my lips and my lips off of each other, whilst the cat snoozed happily on my pillow. Bless him, the little bastard. I removed a great deal of dead skin from my lips and, unfortunately, a small amount of live skin. Ow.

aaaaaaaa

Oh hell, I also glued my pinky to the A key.

Sometimes I think chaos is my best medium. I cannot write or act or compose, but I can fuck stuff up! Woo!

I also made the mistake of telling my friends and family about this incident - you can probably guess how that ended as well, given that my friends and family are not inclined to be kind to me during my instances of incompetence.

As I have already stapled my thumb and glued my lips together... I'm going to go see if I can hole-punch myself or embed a paper clip in my foot.

Honour the Fallen

I want to leave a heartfelt post in honor of the world's fallen soldiers who, throughout the ages, have laid down their lives in defense of their country's and family's. Remembrance Day - November 11th, 2011: Lest we forget their heroic and honourable sacrifice in the name of freedom.